A big hello from Mr Pickles…… your resident chef (well assistant!)
(Ed: Actually he holds the cloth for the washer-ups’ assistant…..)
What are you all gawping at…………………. never seen a panda with culinary skills before?
Get over it, this is the 21st century and it’s equality for all – pandas’ included…………………….. whatever you want to do then just go for it that’s what I say!
Where have you been living? A tent in Siberia? A mud hut halfway up the Orinoco?
Let me tell you, I didn’t get where I am today by sitting on my backside and chewing bamboo like an advert for the World Wildlife Fund (fantastic though they are, and they keep my cousin Sid in work as the mascot), no I got on my bike (of course we can ride bikes, how do you think we get from A to B…. walk?) and looked for a job!
My travels took me to many exotic places and I had many adventures along the way (Yes Mr Clooney you can play me in the film……… if you must!)
Anyway to cut a long story short I ended up in Paris looking for a job and somewhere to live, I tried can-can dancing at the Moulin Rouge (legs too short!), boatman on the river (drove me in Seine!), even tried being a living statue outside Notre Dame (didn’t look very good dressed as Joan of Arc)
One day I was standing there and this fairly dozy looking guy stood next to me and said to everyone within earshot:
“Ooh look there’s Joan of Arc dressed as a panda!”
Just what I need I thought, some smart alec with a face like a squashed pie who thinks he’s funny, still he did throw some money (negligible) in the hat and offered to buy me lunch (there’s a nice little bistro in the Rue Degit which does excellent bamboo shoots).
We got on well and now years later having taught him (slowly, oh so slowly) how to find his way round a kitchen, we ended up in sunny Andalucia doing a few cookery lessons here and there and renting out our fabulous apartment in a 200 year old traditional Spanish house.
Obviously he is still an idiot (too late to change I think), but we rub along well and test out recipes to the best of ability (and scoff the lot!) here in our valley full of orange, lemon and almond trees.